AGE 3

I think my mother and Queen Elizabeth of England are the same person, 1959.

AGE 4

I start kindergarten in suburban Chicago, 1960. I begin signing my art projects with Er-H in the lower right-hand corner to save space.

AGE 6

After visiting the battlefield at Gettysburg, I beg successfully for a Civil War uniform and replica musket, 1962.

AGE 7

I win an Indian dance contest at Wisconsin Dells, 1963. Later in the year I read a biography of Kit Carson, then read all the biographies I can find in the Delaware Trails Elementary School in suburban Indianapolis.

AGE 8

To quiet my disruptive attempts at humor, my fourth-grade teacher moves my desk to the back of the classroom and asks me to draw portraits of the presidents, which she pins up above the blackboard, 1964. Miss Maggard is my first art director.

AGE 10

My family moves to Minnesota, 1965. Our new house has two-dozen oak trees in the yard and woods across the street. There is a ski hill down the block. At summer camp I learn to water ski.

AGE 12

I begin writing a novel, 1968. It is compared to Dickens and Thackeray because I am copying Dickens and Thackeray.

AGE 13

To pay for ski equipment, I go into the Christmas card business. I draw the cards in pen and ink, have them printed, and sell them door to door, 1969. I will remain in the card business for another fifteen years.

AGE 14

I visit Aspen for the first time, 1970.

AGE 17

I do not attend Prom, 1973.

AGE 18

I discover mystery novelist Raymond Chandler, and become very hard-boiled, 1974.

AGE 19

Because I am fun at parties, I am made captain of the ski team at St. Olaf College, 1975. It is the same college Jay Gatsby attended in the Fitzgerald novel. Mr. Gatsby did not ski.

AGE 20

On my first visit to Europe, I earn travel money by pretending to be a Norwegian and selling drawings to tourists, 1976.

AGE 21

I graduate from college with reasonable distinction, but no Phi Beta Kappa key and no Rhodes Scholarship, 1977. I get a job in a ski shop. It is the only real job I will ever have.

AGE 23

I have a few drawings published in Rolling Stone and buy a blue Volkswagen Beetle for $200, 1979.

AGE 27

I am coaching ski racing and writing travel features for Skiing magazine, 1983. I am also writing a novel that I will never finish, but not the same novel I began in 1968.

AGE 28

When I am asked to illustrate a book of poems for Garrison Keillor, I suggest that Mr. Keillor write a novel about Lake Wobegon instead, which he does, 1984.

AGE 30

I am married, 1986.

AGE 33

While visiting New York, my wife and I have lunch at the Carnegie Deli, where we are seated at the same table as comedian and violinist Henny Youngman, 1989. We see actress Swoozie Kurtz in the shoe department at Bloomingdales.

We buy a house in a leafy Minneapolis neighborhood with good schools.